Couples therapy works best when both people are willing to look honestly at their part in what's happening. That doesn't require agreeing on who's right. It just requires showing up.
In my experience, most couples arrive with some version of the same problem: they've lost the ability to talk to each other without it turning into something else. The original issue gets buried under the argument about the argument. Sessions with me are designed to slow that down, get underneath it, and figure out what's actually going on between the two of you.
My approach is direct and collaborative. I'm not a silent observer. I work with you actively, pointing out patterns as they happen in the room, encouraging honesty, and helping each person actually hear what the other is trying to say.
What brings couples in
Communication breakdowns
Arguments that go in circles, conversations that shut down, feeling chronically unheard.
Intimacy and connection
Emotional distance, physical disconnection, or a relationship that's become more functional than close.
Trust and infidelity
Affairs, deception, or the slow erosion of trust that doesn't have a single clear cause.
Resentment and unresolved conflict
Old grievances that never got resolved and keep showing up in new arguments.
Life transitions
Parenting, career changes, loss, or other major shifts that put unexpected pressure on a relationship.
Non-traditional relationships
Open, polyamorous, and consensually non-monogamous relationships, including the specific challenges they bring.
A note on who I work with
I work with heterosexual and same-sex couples, and with couples in a range of relationship structures including monogamous, open, and polyamorous partnerships. I also provide affirming support for couples involved in kink.
Sessions are available in person in Santa Rosa and online throughout California.
Is infidelity part of what brings you here?
For men who want to do focused individual work on accountability and repair alongside couples counseling, I offer a separate 12-week program called The Integrity Reset. It is not a couples program and not a substitute for therapy.